Here are my comments/ crits for each of this week's entries. As always, this is meant as constructive criticism. The work this week was good from everyone.
Scott Flanders- I love these inks. They're full of character and attitude.the design of the bike is a bit simple but, on the plus side, the back end reminds me of the Heli-bike from M.A.S.K. I am having a bit of a problem with the way the rider is sitting, as it looks like his tail would be getting nearly broken by the angle it rests at. Still, the piece has that desirable attitude from the inks and posture of the figure otherwise that fits the notion of "Biker."
Chris Burdett- I can't stop chuckling at this one. The big, relatively macho dragonborn on that little ROFLscooter is hilarious. Craft-wise your pencils are gorgeous. No muddy forms anywhere, the border lines all sell their forms clearly, and just enough shading to keep it from getting too cartoony. (actually it reminds me a little of some of Jeff Laubenstien's old Shadowrun stuff :) )
MuYoung Kim- I like this piece, but I don't think it's successful at selling the Biker nearly as well as the bike. (The bike is pure gold btw- very Akira/ Empire of the Rising Sun-ish.) The figure is turned away completely and the proximity of the blade and the face make it hard to even see he's got his head turned. I'm seeing some problem areas with tones that are too close together- the reds on and around the front tire, and especially the helmet and the bike behind it. (part of that may be the round form next to it that is part of the bike as well and the tangent it forms with the rear diagonal.
Liz Clarke- Of the two I like the tiefling better, mainly due to his outfit being more visually interesting and the bike's design carrying more character. One the other hand the pose and expression of your deva girl carry a bit more character than his stiff up-and-down pose. I'm not sure the backgrounds are really serving the figures either, especially in the tiefling piece. He and the bike aren't "popping" very strongly from the background. Your deva is "popping nicely, partly due to the nice yellow/ purple contrast of the fuel tank, arm, and sky. However, her right arm is getting lost against the similar light tone behind it.
David Miles- I like the idea of the aqua-choppers, but something about these just feels too much like boat, and not enough like bike. The parcel of loot on the middle ride also looks very overbalancing in a piece that reads and simply rendered, but serious (That is NOT an insult btw. I LIKE simple clean rendering.) I also had a bit of trouble picking out that the riders were halflings at first, given the non-tolkien proportions of D&D halflings.
Claudio Pozas- Nice clean inks, and your goliath gal is hot. Watch the proportions on her pelvis and legs though, they're looking short. Also his hand on her side looks in an odd place for where you have his shoulder. only complaint I have about the bike is it reads as more American southwestern to me than mountain-y. Most likely due the the cow skull carrying that association.
Heather Hudson- I generally like this piece, but I have two areas that are bugging me. The headlight/ front end of the bike just isn't reading very clearly to me. I honestly can't tell what you're going for with it (some kind of bestial mouth? also, his hair is too saturated and shaped a bit oddly, giving me the idea that it's a big beret in the thumbnail. (that one's a minor quibble)
Phillipe St. Gerard- This one has a great cartoony feel to it, reminding me of some of the lighter-hearted WoW-related art out there. The "log rocket" shape is great, and I like the exaggerating of 4E gnome spiky hair.
Rafi Adrian Z- I like this one. The deva elements of the bike are subtle but read well. I think pushing the bike a bit darker might have helped it pop from the similar background tone a bit more than just the pencilwork alone. I generally like your deva girl too, though some of your brushwork to lay in specular on her legs and under her right arm seem too heavy next to the delicate and consistent washes of the rest of the piece.
J. Lonnee- I like the very 60's England feel to the bike and her helmet. It feels like a bit of Avengers influence (though that could be her riding suit, which screams Emma Peel catsuit (to me anyway.) I do wish the suit were rendered to the same level as the bike though- the gloves and thights especially read very sketchy.
Mike Faille- This is a great design and my favorite after Chris'. the bike designs scream goblin and dwarven. Your linework is clean, and your dwarf driver looks great. I have to wonder (and others have mentioned part of this in the ArtOrder comments) about the expression of the girl, given her lack of pants.
And, though it isn't actually finished, it's only fair I show mine so others can crit it if they feel so inclined (click to embiggen. )
Ideally, I'll get it done this weekend after the vampire piece for the current challenge.
Scott Flanders- I love these inks. They're full of character and attitude.the design of the bike is a bit simple but, on the plus side, the back end reminds me of the Heli-bike from M.A.S.K. I am having a bit of a problem with the way the rider is sitting, as it looks like his tail would be getting nearly broken by the angle it rests at. Still, the piece has that desirable attitude from the inks and posture of the figure otherwise that fits the notion of "Biker."
Chris Burdett- I can't stop chuckling at this one. The big, relatively macho dragonborn on that little ROFLscooter is hilarious. Craft-wise your pencils are gorgeous. No muddy forms anywhere, the border lines all sell their forms clearly, and just enough shading to keep it from getting too cartoony. (actually it reminds me a little of some of Jeff Laubenstien's old Shadowrun stuff :) )
MuYoung Kim- I like this piece, but I don't think it's successful at selling the Biker nearly as well as the bike. (The bike is pure gold btw- very Akira/ Empire of the Rising Sun-ish.) The figure is turned away completely and the proximity of the blade and the face make it hard to even see he's got his head turned. I'm seeing some problem areas with tones that are too close together- the reds on and around the front tire, and especially the helmet and the bike behind it. (part of that may be the round form next to it that is part of the bike as well and the tangent it forms with the rear diagonal.
Liz Clarke- Of the two I like the tiefling better, mainly due to his outfit being more visually interesting and the bike's design carrying more character. One the other hand the pose and expression of your deva girl carry a bit more character than his stiff up-and-down pose. I'm not sure the backgrounds are really serving the figures either, especially in the tiefling piece. He and the bike aren't "popping" very strongly from the background. Your deva is "popping nicely, partly due to the nice yellow/ purple contrast of the fuel tank, arm, and sky. However, her right arm is getting lost against the similar light tone behind it.
David Miles- I like the idea of the aqua-choppers, but something about these just feels too much like boat, and not enough like bike. The parcel of loot on the middle ride also looks very overbalancing in a piece that reads and simply rendered, but serious (That is NOT an insult btw. I LIKE simple clean rendering.) I also had a bit of trouble picking out that the riders were halflings at first, given the non-tolkien proportions of D&D halflings.
Claudio Pozas- Nice clean inks, and your goliath gal is hot. Watch the proportions on her pelvis and legs though, they're looking short. Also his hand on her side looks in an odd place for where you have his shoulder. only complaint I have about the bike is it reads as more American southwestern to me than mountain-y. Most likely due the the cow skull carrying that association.
Heather Hudson- I generally like this piece, but I have two areas that are bugging me. The headlight/ front end of the bike just isn't reading very clearly to me. I honestly can't tell what you're going for with it (some kind of bestial mouth? also, his hair is too saturated and shaped a bit oddly, giving me the idea that it's a big beret in the thumbnail. (that one's a minor quibble)
Phillipe St. Gerard- This one has a great cartoony feel to it, reminding me of some of the lighter-hearted WoW-related art out there. The "log rocket" shape is great, and I like the exaggerating of 4E gnome spiky hair.
Rafi Adrian Z- I like this one. The deva elements of the bike are subtle but read well. I think pushing the bike a bit darker might have helped it pop from the similar background tone a bit more than just the pencilwork alone. I generally like your deva girl too, though some of your brushwork to lay in specular on her legs and under her right arm seem too heavy next to the delicate and consistent washes of the rest of the piece.
J. Lonnee- I like the very 60's England feel to the bike and her helmet. It feels like a bit of Avengers influence (though that could be her riding suit, which screams Emma Peel catsuit (to me anyway.) I do wish the suit were rendered to the same level as the bike though- the gloves and thights especially read very sketchy.
Mike Faille- This is a great design and my favorite after Chris'. the bike designs scream goblin and dwarven. Your linework is clean, and your dwarf driver looks great. I have to wonder (and others have mentioned part of this in the ArtOrder comments) about the expression of the girl, given her lack of pants.
And, though it isn't actually finished, it's only fair I show mine so others can crit it if they feel so inclined (click to embiggen. )
Ideally, I'll get it done this weekend after the vampire piece for the current challenge.
posted by Fuu at 3:42 PM
1 Comments:
Thom,
thanks for the crit :). I wish I'd had your outside comments at the sketch stage! I should've made the size of the halflings more obvious by placing them next to full size objects... a different bike design would've been good too. Anyway, thanks for the comments :).
Looks like you and I are fellow midwesterners! I'm in K-zoo.
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